Motivated to Excellence by Fear

“For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” ~ (2 Tim 1:7, HCSB)

For as early as I can remember, I have always had this nagging fear of dying and no one knows me. Thus, I have not wanted a house in the country 2-3 miles from my neighbors. I have not wanted a job locked away in solitude to enjoy my work alone. I have wanted to do spectacular noticeable things to ensure someone would know I had lived.

In 2006, of all the things I could have done, I bought a house in the country.  It was a 3 bedroom 2 bath home on a country road in Greenville, Georgia.  For a time I was happy, but alas it is a place I realize I may never live in again.  My fears beckoned me to leave, to return to a place crowded with people.  I guess you could say, I am a city fellow now.  But I know its not because I like people, its because I fear being unknown, of being insignificant, of dying and no one attend my funeral.  

I was beckoned away from the country by a call to serve in Louisiana by a long-time friend.  The service I would render would increase my knowledge among an even wider audience.  I left without hesitation although I was already known by many people, one never can tell who will forget one.  So off I went to discover another place, I had left over 20 years before. Because of these fears, I have and continue to be motivated to excel. And this impetus keeps me moving forward ensuring others will deem me worthy to be remembered. 

I agree that God has not given us “the spirit of fearfulness” but I also agree that fear is a natural part of the human experience.  Fear motivates us to action.  Fear is an activator of our fight or flight reflex.  Since, God has gifted us with “love, power, and sound judgment” to fight our innate fears and win, I overcome my fear with faith – the courage to do it afraid.  I choose to fight my fears by excellence and trying to make a difference in other peoples’ lives.  I choose to exist as a leader, a person who advocates for others, and a person who ensures he is noticed in the world.  People have commended me on my efforts and told me they have been helped throughout my journey.  Yet, their applause was not what I wanted; it was their friendship.  I most of all want to be remembered because to be remembered is mmortality to me.