You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! (Psalms 139:16-17, NLT)
I’m still living from the book written about me before I was born. I’m in Chapter 58. There are many things happening in this chapter of my life. Equally so are the decisions that I’m compelled to make. Each decision will change me in some way; they are unsettling.
I have wrestled three nights in my sleep. Tonight I fought myself disguised as my son who drowned and my brother who drowned. Both of these incidents crippled me. I made a decision, a subconscious decision to defy life, to rebel against being successful twice. So I would always do something to sabotage my success. That was a Book Decision based on Chapters 16 and 43 in my life. That was a mistake!
Each time it appeared that I had successfully derailed my success, God intervened with more grace and mercy. God determined my traumatic, and crippling experiences would not cancel the blessings God had prepared for me. God determined I would live, love, and laugh again. In Chapter 58, God keeps knocking my socks off!
I’ve learned not to make Book Decisions based on the Chapter I’m living now.